It cost me jobs as a young adult, one employer going so far as to tell me "If we had known you were a queer, we'd never have hired you," -- Nolan
As part of our series, Costs of Coming Out, PennLive asked members of the gay, lesbian and transgender community to talk about the price they paid for coming out.
Here is one of those personal stories, penned by a gay man who gave only his first name: Nolan. Look for other stories here.
Coming out didn't cost me so much as bigotry and closed-mindedness have. And it cost me quite a bit. It cost me my family and my heritage, as well as a run-in with some guys and baseball bats when I went back "home" after coming out.
I'm not welcome in the area where I grew up. I have nieces and nephews that I've never met because of siblings that refuse to acknowledge my existence.?
I was unable to attend my father's funeral because family members thought my father would be "ashamed" to have his gay son mourning him. I'm persona non grata to my blood relatives in Texas.
It also cost me my work study jobs in college in the 1990s, which meant my "financial aid package" got smaller as no one on campus would give the "fag" a job.
The (non-religiously affiliated) college also revoked part of my financial aid package after I came out, which in turn lead to a lump sum being due at the end of the year that I could not afford to pay out all at once. So it cost me my college degree, too.
It cost me jobs as a young adult, one employer going so far as to tell me "If we had known you were a queer, we'd never have hired you."
The list goes on. And my experiences are not exceptional, especially for people who grew up in the 1980s.
Again, I don't attribute this so much to my "coming out" as I do to the pettiness, ignorance and downright hatred of others.
-- Nolan
READ MORE in the Costs of Coming Out series:
The fragile financial world of transgender people
Out at age 4 as gay, black and proud
Read the entire Cost of Coming Out series here.
Source: http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2013/08/gay_man_suffers_high_price_of.html
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